So I haven't written for a while so here is the catch up. I am doing something that I have always wanted to do and that is play volleyball on a city team. I have never dared to do that since when I have gone in I get the looks of oh she is fat and she can't play. but I did it. I am playing every Tuesday night and it is so much fun! I am doing really well with it also. The other thing I have determined is that I do need to take time for me. It has been nice to go play on my own and just relax and do something that I really enjoy!!!

I know that I need to loose weight and I am really trying to get past the craziness in my head that tells me I am not able to, or worth it. and with all the stuff from growing up that I won't be able to do it, or that I will quit i just don't start because I don't want to fail and yet without trying I am failing. My life needs the relaxation and changes that only I can do it. I have vowed to do this and will do it no matter how hard it is. I want to be successful and I want to go back to school. I want to be someone that others look up to as an example of what happiness is. I struggle many times with depression and other things but I want to kick all that out of my mind and go from there. My life will be blessed by all that I want to do if I can just get going!!! and I CAN DO THIS!